After all, it is not long-haired crusties accompanied by mangy dogs who are taking trips out to Thailand to procure the services of child prostitutes, it is these same “respectable” businessmen, at whom police, customs men and the general public would never normally bat an eyelid. We are told that in Britain they are all “businessmen” in their forties and fifties, some with their own businesses. Are people shocked by this, then? How long are we going to go on thinking that, because someone looks respectable, they are respectable. Who were these characters? Slavering, greasy sex offenders who looked like hunch-backed medieval perverts? Strangely enough, no. If all the unhealthy people in this country stopped contributing to the Health Service there would only be about two quid in the kitty.Arrests were made this week all over the world following an investigation into child pornography on the Internet. (Yes, that hallowed institution which as we know always practises what it preaches.)The aim of the project is to minimise harm rather than blah on about becoming the model of health.

I wish my GP would take this approach with me on the smoking and weight front. There is so much moralising going on in the Health Service these days, it’s becoming indistinguishable from the Church. Better start looking forward to that last fag.I was up in Manchester during the week attending the launch of a custom- built lorry under the auspices of “Manchester Action on Street Health”, a project which offers health care to a group reluctant to visit the statutory health services: male and female prostitutes You can’t blame them really. It seems that being fat may soon become a capital offence in America. Good God, are we destined to go down this road, too, as we move unavoidably to become the 51st state of America? I’d always thought that the difference between us and the Americans was demonstrated by the fact that their top boxer is a convicted rapist and ours is Widow Twankey in Margate. It is great for those of us with normal cars to sit next to a posh git who is as trapped as we are Have Roller … will sit here with the rest of the plebs.
A recent survey in America shows that women rate a previous rape conviction as more desirable than obesity in a prospective partner.

This week trials will begin in Hampshire in an experiment which might result in motorists paying motorway tolls How tragic Traffic jams are one of the last bastions of democracy. “Oh no,” she replied, “they think you’re great.” I promise never to stereotype the elderly again. Could they have confused me with the cheeky Fifties rocker Joe Brown? (It does happen.) I asked the show organiser whether this was the case or if I should try and curtail the rude bits. A peek through the curtains revealed a front row populated with white-haired Crimplene- bedecked Queen Mum lookalikes. People do get over these things, but it can take a very long time.”Sport, page 26.. I did a show recently in King’s Lynn as part of their annual festival. I discovered from the festival brochure that each show had been sponsored by a local organisation, and on inquiring, was a bit taken aback to find I had been sponsored by an old people’s home.